Pleasant Suprises
by anmeria
Summary: It didn't take a genius like Chekov to know that not all was right on the great ship Enterprise. For some reason, Spock and Jim had seemingly lost their collective marbles. Or: The One Where Spock and Jim Are Going Through Pon Farr, But They Just Don't Know It (Trope Remix)


**Pleasant Surprises**

**Or: The One Where Spock and Jim Are Going Through Pon Farr, But They Just Don't Know It (Trope Remix)**

_**Heads up:** This fic is a very hard R, AU and post-STID. Star Trek is in no way, shape, or form mine._

)()()()(

It didn't take a genius like Chekov to know that not all was right on the great ship Enterprise. However the exact specifics of what the hell was going on right _now_, he was pretty sure required more brains than the whole ship combined. For some reason, Spock and Jim had seemingly lost their collective marbles.

"Captain, we've lost another data beacon." Uhura reported.

Jim's face contorted in repressed anger, and despite his calm façade, Spock's eyes glittered in a way that made Pavel want to cover his throat.

It was routine to send data gathering beacons into uncharted territory. No one wanted to stumble into a black hole or a star about to supernova, so they sent them out in advance for preliminary intel. Apparently this specific part of space wasn't completely untraveled, as Orion slavers took particular pleasure shooting their beacons into smithereens.

The beacons were cheap and easily replicated, so it didn't make sense for Jim and Spock to be so angry about their loss. Actually, they'd both been unusually angry for the past few days, snapping out orders and making hasty, heated exits before coming back rumpled, and in Jim's case, bruised.

Chekov would have been worried for the Captain, except for the fact that whenever they came back they were much more level-headed and relaxed in a way that the Lieutenant didn't want to think about. More than that, the two now worked in perfect synchronization; while before they seemed to be able to finish each other's sentences, now it seemed like they didn't even need to _speak_. The general consensus was that they were having rough, angry sex, which was strange on so many levels, but Pavel wasn't one to judge. Uhura and Spock had called it quits a few months ago, and it was no business of his whom they decided to have sex with.

"The Orion traders are posing a significant problem, Captain. The problem must be terminated." Spock coolly informed them, with significant weight on the word 'terminated'. Chekov shuddered.

"Completely agreed, Commander. I've had enough of this," The Captain all but growled. "Chekov, send out another five beacons near Epsilon IV, and then hide us in the asteroid belt. We're gonna catch these bastards."

"Aye, Captain," Chekov meekly returned. If no one else was going to tell the Captain and Commander that they were being a touch crazy, Pavel sure as hell wasn't. He liked his head where it was, thank you very much.

"Beacons sent."Chekov quietly stated.

"ETA, Sulu?" Jim asked, hovering dangerously over the navigator.

Sulu subtly flinched at Jim's proximity. "Uh… three hours, sir."

"Good. Let's shoot these guys out of the water. Spock, with me." With that, the two of them stormed out to do- whatever it was they did. It's not like anyone could complain that they weren't doing their jobs whenever they went off, because as of late they'd been carrying out their jobs with a sort of unrelenting determination that was a little frightening in it's intensity.

It wasn't a surprise when about five hours later, they caught an Orion craft with perfect, brutal efficiency; Pavel was just happy that the Orions admitted defeat. The way Jim and Spock had been lately, he wasn't sure if they'd blow the Orions into smithereens.

)()()()(

"Hey, could you-?"

Anticipating his question, Spock tossed Jim his shoe that had somehow wound up halfway across the room. Jim had never pegged the Vulcan to be so, so _enthuisiastic_, but then again the past two days had cured Jim of a lot of misconceptions about his Vulcan first.

Jim caught the proffered item with hasty thanks, opting to pull on his shirt while Spock pulled his pants back on. Just looking at the man, disheveled as he was, sent another powerful wave of lust through his body, a fact that the Vulcan did not miss. Spock's eyes darkened in what Kirk had dubbed his 'come hither' eyes, and Jim's jerky, uncoordinated dressing dragged to a screeching halt.

"Jim, we do not have the time for another round." Spock's stated, but his body said something else altogether

"I know," Jim could palpably _feel_ the lust rolling through his First, which was super neat and at the same time more than a little concerning, but Jim just couldn't seem to muster the freak-out that had been required for these last few days.

"The others will notice our absence," Spock continued, but that didn't stop him from stepping closer.

"Yeah,"

"We run the risk of making a spectacle of ourselves in front of the crew," and damned if that made Jim hot all over again.

"_Oh_ yeah," Jim replied in something a lot closer to a moan than it should have been, and then Spock grabbed his dick and all rational thought flew out the window.

Spock huffed in frustration before slotting his body between the vee of Jim's legs. "Do you believe yourself capable of achieving orgasm within the next 5.7 minutes?"

"We'll just have to blow each other." Jim negotiated, and with _that_ heavy conversation over, they fell back onto the couch.

)()()()(

"Is the Captain around, Lieutentant Uhura?" Scotty asked. The man rarely took trips to the bridge, but that was because Jim usually made regular trips to engineering. During the last few days Jim hadn't shown up, which had sent the Scotsman topside. And he'd be a liar if he didn't admit to have some interest in the recent rumors flying around.

Uhura was stiff. "The Captain is currently indisposed, Lieutenant Commander."

"And the Commander?" The Scotsman probed.

"Also indisposed." Uhura returned, her eyes focused on her console screen. "You can leave a them message, or- talk to Lieutenant Sulu if it's pressing." Uhura fumbled when they both heard a heavy 'thunk' emanating from the Captain's ready room.

The two shared a glance, Uhura's awkward, Scotty's disbelieving. When he'd first heard the rumor about Jim and Spock getting hot and heavy all over the Enterprise, he'd laughed outright. Despite his promiscuous ways, Jim had made a point of reining it in while on board the ship, and Spock… Well, Scotty had been sure that Spock would _never_ stoop so low as to have a torrid office romance. Something undeniably strange was going on here.

"Ach, I'll catch one of the lads later… Lieutenant Uhura, do ye think the good doctor might be needed on the deck?"

)()()()(

10.4 minutes later, Jim exited the ready room looking only minimally like he'd been all over Spock. The bigger tell was the fact that he reeked of sex, but Jim had gotten used to dealing with that. He just had to keep his distance, and then run to the 'fresher as soon as he could. And maybe he'd run into Spock in the 'fresher, seeing as he'd be having similar difficulties, and Jim would help Spock out by running a wet towel across his face, the curves of his mouth, then lower towards-

"JIM!"

"Bones?" Kirk spun round, surprised_._

"Report to the medbay _now_, Captain." McCoy growled, grabbing his arm, and Jim knew he was in deep shit because Bones was calling him Captain with a capital 'C'. It was at that precise moment Spock came upon them, and the swoop in Jim's stomach told him the man was feeling downright _murderous_.

"Doctor, unhand the Captain _right now_."

McCoy snorted, "And just who do you think you are?"

"Bones, shut up," He bit out, pulling his arm out of the doctor's grip only to be dragged over to the Commander. He could feel Spock's seething rage and jealousy floating under the surface, and Jim knew it was imperative that he stay away from McCoy.

Bones stared at them, appalled. "My god, what the hell is _wrong_ with you two?"

"Nothing, we're just a little-"

"Nothing my _ass_. Both of you to the infirmary, now. March!"

Jim scowled but turned towards turbolifts, feeling grouchy and unreasonably horny for someone who had gotten off multiple times a short while ago. Spock followed Jim, his feelings a dark mix of jealousy and possessiveness, though he kept it in check. Nevertheless, Spock's hand was like an iron bar around Jim's wrist.

McCoy waited until they were safely in the turbolift before rounding on them. "Are you two out of your damn fool minds, carrying on like this?!"

"Carrying on like _what_?" Jim defensively retorted, but it was hollow at best. Apparently they weren't being as sneaky as Jim hoped they were being. Honestly, it was a flimsy hope. Jim had always had an active sex drive, but there was something about Spock that had him completely losing his mind.

"Jim, the entire bridge crew knows you've been messing around with Spock! And _you_, Mr. Spock, I never thought you'd do something like this! What in hell made you think this was a good idea?!"

Both men simultaneously responded, Spock with a "That is none of your business," and Jim with a "I don't even know!"

"How long has this been going on between you two?"

"What's it, been, about three days now?" Jim asked Spock.

"Precisely 3.38 days." McCoy internally gagged.

"And you only decided to bring this up now, after I had to drag it out of you?" McCoy boggled. "_Why_?"

Spock went all shifty eyed, while Jim scuffed his boots. The lift doors opened, rescuing them from a response.

McCoy pinched his nose as they walked. "I'm going to have to run some tests."

Jim was livid. "We're completely _fine,_" He kept his voice low, mindful of the many crew members nearby.

Looking around, McCoy lead them into his office for privacy. "No Jim, you aren't, and neither are you, Spock. Jim, haven't you noticed that Spock's been semi-visibly emoting?" McCoy asked Jim.

Jim took a moment to think about it. "…No?" Jim knew that underneath Spock's layers he was actually very emotional, but he kept them buried hot and deep down. After the whole Denebulan mess Jim could scarcely see him as anything else.

"I have had some- difficulty during my evening meditations, but it has not been negatively affecting my productivity." Spock admitted. He chose to omit the fact that he hadn't meditated since their affair first began, opting to instead have multiple rounds of sex with his captain. In fact, he had become ruthlessly efficient, driving his underlings to work 5.23% faster and personally completing tasks 22.7% more quickly than usual to accommodate all the sexual intercourse.

"See, Bones? Nothing to worry about. Can't two people just want to have sex?"

McCoy dithered, realizing that while their behavior was highly unusual, it _could_ be a product of being sex starved. McCoy needed backup.

"I think I'm going to need M'Benga's help on this one," McCoy admitted, and Jim groaned in annoyance.

Spock did that thing where he glared without moving any features. "Doctor, we would prefer it if the crew's knowledge of our relations went no further."

"Like they don't already know! I need to figure out whether this is some kind of disease, or you're actually both just plain old stupid. Computer, the location of Dr. M'Benga?"

"Dr. M'Benga is in surgery room 4." McCoy silently cursed; that meant he was in the middle of a practical demonstration with some of the new ensigns. Turning back to Jim and Spock, "I'm putting you both on medical leave for the rest of the day. You are not, I repeat _not_ allowed to leave this room until M'Benga's had a look at both of you; do you understand?" He stared at each of them, hard.

"Our mental faculties are not compromised."

"Loud and clear."

"Good." With that, McCoy headed out.

The two men turned to each other. "We aren't… actually compromised or something, right Spock?"

"Negative; furthermore, Starfleet regulations allow for relationships between closely ranked officers. We are completely within our rights carry on as we wish."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. I don't know why McCoy's decided to go all crazy over this."

"Truly? I thought his motivations were clearly apparent." Spock gave the entryway a steely glare, and Jim laughed.

"What, you think he wanted to steal me away from you?"

"I know he thinks less than highly of me, and he knows that you are a handsome specimen easily persuaded into sexual interactions."

"Whoa, hold up, _what_? Did you just say what I thought you said?"

"I stated that you are promiscuous; how could you not be, after the way you threw yourself at me the first time?"

It was really unfair that Spock could make Jim blindingly angry and turned on at the same time. "Oh screw you, you were the one who practically assaulted me with a kinky mind meld," Jim retorted. "Even with all that Vulcan restraint you couldn't help but jump me."

"I 'jumped' you because I knew I could tame you, tame your wantonness and lust so that you'd only ever think of my _cock_." During their little spat they had both moved closer, and were now invading each other's space.

"Oh yeah, Commander?" The retort was weak, but Jim's brain was a little busy short-circuiting from hotness.

"Dr. McCoy will never have you. Every time you think of him from now on, I want you to think of _this_."

Without further ado, Spock bodily twisted Jim until he was bent in half on his stomach over McCoy's desk. "Spock, you little _shit_! Let me- _ungh_- let me go!" Jim ungracefully moaned when a rough thumb pushed into his asshole through his clothes. Soon Jim's pants were loose on his thighs, pulled low but not low enough so that he could properly widen his stance for the swell of Vulcan cock pushing up against his ass.

"Shit," Jim quietly cursed, glad that Spock had let go of at least one of his arms so he could bite down on _something_. Spock, being an insufferable asshole as always, was completely content to gently rock only the tip into and out of Jim's passage, still stretched from all the fucking they'd during lunch, and at breakfast, and during coffee break, and before shift.

"Come on you asshole, give it to me!" Jim demanded, but Spock kept up his slow thrusts, the Vulcan's natural lube dripping down his crack. Jim tried to buck up onto the thick Vulcan cock but the angle was wrong and he could barely get enough purchase on the ground. It was maddening. In a moment of vicious inspiration, it came Jim: "I bet Bones would be able to fuck me better than _this_."

The change was swift and brutal: within one moment and then next Spock thrust in until he was completely seated, leaving Jim wetly panting on the desk. Like magic, Spock nestled his dick right under the bud of Jim's prostate and rammed it. Jim nearly sobbed.

"Oh god," Jim gasped as his legs went to jelly and his whole body broke out into sweat. Everything seemed to slip away into a white hot, never ending feeling of want, where the only thing that existed was pleasure. Time dilated like they were in warp.

"Please, please oh shit, oh god, please," Jim mindlessly begged, incapable of stringing a full sentence together. Finally, after what felt like an eon but was probably 15 minutes Spock relented, placing a hand to Jim's meld points. The resulting crash of their minds left Jim whited out, incapable of doing anything but laying there and riding the heat.

They both laid there for a long while, until Jim's ribs gave protest. Spock casually tucked himself back in, and Jim boggled at just how quickly the transition to white-hot sex god to prim and proper Vulcan occurred. Jim was a little embarrassed to see the mess he'd shot all over his best friend's desk- without being touched, his gutter brain helpfully noted. It was not fair that sex with Spock was this good.

There was a knock on the door. "Spock, Jim? You… decent?" McCoy's voice floated over, and Jim's face went red with embarrassment. Spock wasn't faring much better, but there was a certain level of smugness pervading his features.

"In a second!" Jim called out, and hastily wiped his cum off the desk. When he went to completely finish removing it, Spock stopped him.

"You will leave it as. It. Is." Spock looked him dead in the eye.

Jim felt himself flush once more, this time not in embarrassment. "I'll… Yeah." Grabbing a piece of scrap paper to wipe his hands of his own cum, he gave the okay.

McCoy carefully entered, acting as if there were wild animals inside instead of humanoids. M'Benga shortly followed behind, giving both of them mildly confused looks. "M'Benga's got a few questions for you two."

"Fire away," Jim realized a second too late that that wasn't the best choice of words, considering the fact that the two doctors had almost certainly just heard them at it. "Uh, I mean, go ahead."

M'Benga grabbed a padd for notes and took a seat at McCoy's desk- the one Spock and Jim had just been fucking on- and offered them chairs. McCoy stood to the side, glowering.

"I hope you forgive me if these questions seem rather intrusive, but I need to hear the answers to help here. Doctor McCoy tells me that your recent romantic encounters began about three days ago. Before this point, did either of you express any interest in each other?"

Jim gave an uncomfortable glance at Spock, who was as usual as transparent as a sheet of metal. "Not really, no…"

Spock's eyebrow rose.

"Jesus, Spock! Maybe a little, but we had that whole 'bromance' thing going on and I wasn't really thinking about changing that."

Now M'Benga and McCoy were doing the eyebrow conga as well. Jim sullenly crossed his arms.

"And you, Spock?" M'Benga prompted.

"While I have noted an unusual mental compatibility between myself and the Captain, I never intended to enter into a romantic engagement with him," Spock stoically replied, and Jim snorted.

"You might not have wanted to date me, but you certainly weren't averse to the idea of having sex with me." Jim glared at Spock who coolly stared back, but the slightest hint of green made itself evident.

McCoy however turned a full shade of green. "Ugh, I did _not_ need that mental image."

"_Doctor_ McCoy," M'Benga rebuked, and Bones threw up his hands. "Okay, I'll shut up."

M'Benga turned back to Jim and Spock. "Since you've begun relations, how many times have you partaken in sexual activities?"

"37 times," Spock immediately replied.

"Really? It didn't feel like that much." Jim commented, surprised and a little frustrated that even _talking_ about sex was getting him horny again.

Spock gave Jim a _look_, while McCoy started. "My god man! What is that, like 12 times a day?"

"It is an average of approximately 10.95."

"And this is usual for you?" M'Benga interjected.

"Negative, Doctor. However I did notice significant… difficulty, regulating my physical and emotional functions that began 2.12 days prior."

"How 'bout you Jim, did you have a snake in your pants?"

Jim coughed. "You know me, I'm always horny. I guess I went a little into overdrive a while earlier, but I didn't think it was anything unusual. _Is _it something unusual?"

M'Benga frowned in contemplation. "I admit your description of things is somewhat unusual, however I am unsure. Tell me, what drove you two to begin?"

Spock's face slipped into an unreadable mask while Jim nervously laughed and scuffed the floor. "Well, uh, I know this sounds stupid, but we got into a fight."

)()()()(

_What Jim left out was how the fight even began. Later, the bridge crew would all admit that Spock had become somewhat confrontational (a complete asshole) while on duty, and his ticked off behavior had begun pissing off an unusually short-tempered Captain._

_ Finally, after one too many aspersions about Jim's lack of forethought or planning or- gravitas, or whatever, rejoindered with a cadre of sarcasm by the Captain, Jim stormed into Spock's room through._

_ "I'm sick of your shit, Spock!"_

_ "Really? Then exit my room and leave me in peace."_

_ Jim naturally did the exact opposite, and stepped into the Commander's personal space. "My god, why do you have to be such an asshole? Whatever's crawled up your ass we're going to remove it right now or so help me I'll-"_

_ "You'll what, _Captain_? Invite yourself into my room again?"_

_ Pissed beyond words, Jim went to push Spock's shoulder. Spock blocked it with his arm that Jim tried to dodge and Spock's hand ended up on Jim's temple, which oddly felt- really amazing, but Jim was still pissed so he barreled them both down down onto the floor. _

_ "Jim, will you cease_ _this-" Spock jerked as Jim clawed at his shoulder, but for some reason instead of registering pain Spock felt a rush of excitement which made absolutely no sense._

_ Sensing his upper hand, Jim squirmed upwards in an attempt to get a better position. The motion pushed them up into each other, sending a frission of heat through his body, and Jim realized with a stunning moment of clarity that they were both diamond hard. Once he noticed that Spock was rocking back into him, it only seemed natural to lean in for a kiss, and then that was it. Next thing he knew, Jim was mid-mind meld getting fucked fast and hard into the carpet, making the types of noises he assumed only happened in pornos, while Spock whispered filth into his ear like a seasoned pro._

_ It only seemed fair after that that Jim took the next round and fucked Spock within an inch of his life, on the edge of the bed because it seemed like too much effort to get on it. Then they collapsed into Spock's bed to sleep for an hour or two before Jim woke up to Spock sucking his cock, and really, it only seemed natural to drag Spock on top of him so he could ride Jim in slow, slick, thrusts until they both came once more in a haze of sex-crazed lust._

_ They went for another two or three rounds before Jim tapped out from sheer exhaustion, which gave him a grand total respite of four hours and ended with Jim waking up with a dick in his ass. Feeling unusually game, Jim angled his body upwards and speared himself on his first's cock until he sprayed all over the sheets, and then Spock rolled off of him. _

_Jim looked at the clock; it was 0723, and their shifts would be starting soon. "What. The hell."_

_Spock said nothing, though his eyes glittered with some unnamable emotion. "I admit, I- I do not know where-"_

"_Stop, just _stop_. This _never_ happened, and we won't ever speak of it again."_

"_Agreed, Captain." Spock vehemently assented. Jim got up to take a shower, only to find Spock following him into it. "Once shift begins," Spock amended._

_ Jim's mouth dried, and his eyes helplessly zeroed in on Spock's erect dick. "Yeah, okay."_

_They barely made it to the bridge on time._

)()()()(

"You got into a fight?" M'Benga echoed, obviously confused.

Jim scratched his head. "Looking back, the whole thing was just so stupid, but I… We… I don't know."

M'Benga and McCoy exchanged puzzled glances. "I've got to admit Leonard, this doesn't sound like some sort of drug we've ever encountered. There's only one medical condition I've ever heard that could change Spock's personality in such a way, but I was told very little about it and we wouldn't see similar symptoms replicated in Jim."

"But you admit that it's highly unusual?" McCoy pressed, and M'Benga nodded.

"I'll get in contact with the healers at New Vulcan, but until then I see no reason to keep you off rotation."

Jim whooped, and Spock sat back in smug confidence.

"Wait, you're really just going to let them go, like _this_?" McCoy wildly gestured, and Jim rolled his eyes.

"Oh come on Bones, it's not like we're running around screwing in the Jeffries tubes or something."

)()()()(

"For some reason, I think you're trying to make a point." Jim tried his best to smooth down his uniform, but the close quarters allowed for very little movement.

"And what point would that be?" Spock asked, and damned it all if he didn't look _pristine_.

Jim just snorted as he slowly wormed his way out of the tunnels, before turning around to give Spock a hand. A random ensign walking down the hallway caught sight of them and froze, before quickly scampering off in a different direction.

"Do you think she?-"

"Quite likely, Captain."

"Shit."

"However, our presence in the Jeffries tubes can be explained by the semiannual inspection, which you are 12 days late on."

"The shop talk is really unattractive, Commander."

"On the contrary, this will give us ample opportunity to investigate a whole variety of different locations we do not often visit."

"Forget what I said, I take it back."

)()()()(

It was the day after Jim and Spock's visit to the doctors, and M'Benga still had no answer for them.

Contrary to what Spock had said, Jim and Spock's sexcapades were _not_ being easily dismissed by the rest of the crew. While their amorous encounters (fucking, Jim insisted) were not restricted out of hand, it looked bad for two commanding officers to seem so compromised that they could barely make it into a supply closet before they jumped each other.

"I never thought I'd say this, but all this sex is- _unh_- getting to be a problem. I mean, _god Spock_, I mean, what if this gets out to the higher ups? What if, if- _oh fuck oh fuck _oh FUCK_!"_

Jim came hard into his first's waiting mouth, and panted as he slid in a pile onto the floor. Spock neatly wiped his mouth. "I admit it has become an issue. We will have to be more diligent in our choice of meeting areas."

Jim sighed in frustration as he worked open Spock's pants. "Can't you just _hear _them coming, or something?"

Spock shut Jim up by pushing his dick deep into his mouth. "Lately, the problem is not hearing others coming so much as having us not be heard by them; a basic breakdown in statistics clearly demonstrates that you have been 62.89% more vocal than myself."

Jim glared and looked like he wanted to retort, but Spock chose that moment to give a particularly rough thrust. A few days ago Jim probably would have gagged, but _practice_. "Luckily, I believe I've found the solution to this. Particular. Issue." He breathed out, punctuating each last word with a thrust.

It was hard to tell what he was saying around his mouthful, but despite that Spock could mentally hear the ringing _'screw you'_ coming from his mate. His… mate. Something seemed odd about that statement, but it didn't matter because while Jim couldn't currently vocalize the vibrations were quite- stimulating, to say the least. Spock's grip on Jim's hair softened into a caress on his temple, and then a meld, and they were soon both so turned on that every other thought was obliterated in the wake of their shared orgasm.

They both lay on the floor together, boneless and content. "I don't think I can go back to sex with anyone else, now that I know what it's like with you."

Spock was hit with a sudden wave of rage. "You would find someone else?"

Jim noticed Spock's change in mood, but decided to ignore it. "I dunno, maybe? What if M'Benga hears back and it really is some kind of unheard of alien spore making us do the nasty? You never showed the slightest interest before, I wouldn't be surprised if you turned around and called this a mistake."

"This is _not_ a mistake, Jim, and you will _never_ find another."

Jim outwardly scoffed, while inwardly he felt surprisingly gushy. It was a strange feeling for him. "Whatever. Could you pass me my pants, I really want to eat before lunch hour's over."

)()()()(

By the end of their shifts they were still ravenous for each other, but a quickie in one of the conference rooms helped to bank their lust. In the spirit of things, Jim made a point to take his time on Spock: rubbing his nipples, spending an inordinate time mouthing at his collar bone, and participating in a particularly searing kiss that left them both breathless. Jim next worked down his body with a trail of kisses before lowering himself in front of Spock's cock and giving it small, kittenish licks before intermittently blowing on it. Spock seemed to wholeheartedly appreciate the effort and pushed up towards Jim's mouth, but Jim wasn't having it.

"Nuh-uh," Jim murmured into Spock's hips, pushing his legs farther apart as he slid lower. Slowly, after laving his dick and balls with licks, he moved his mouth farther south

"Oh, Jim, _Oh_!"

Jim tentatively ran his tongue around Spock's perenium for a little as if testing the waters, before taking his first short excursion in. Spock gave a long, low moan and thrusted against him, and Jim took that as his cue to continue. He speared his tongue in and out in gentle thrusts, easing back for a moment so he could jerk him off at the same time. Spock nearly sobbed at the brief loss of contact.

"No, Jim, no, you _must_!"

Jim re-situated himself and started going at it in earnest, pushing in more forcefully while he rocked his own weeping manhood into the bed. It only took Jim a shadow of a thought and Spock was leaning over to the nightstand and tossing Jim the nearly empty tube of lube (they'd been busy bees, after all), and soon Jim was adding a finger to the mix, gently probing inside.

Jim knew he found the right spot when Spock let out a strained curse in Vulcan, and he began diligently thrusting his finger into Spock in time with his tongue. Slowly, he added two and then three fingers at the same mind-melting pace, and when Spock was cursing Jim's very name he knew it was time.

"Shh, shh, c'mere," Jim murmured, grabbing one of Spock's hands. Spock was tossing and turning about as if he didn't know if he wanted to push in or get away, so Jim took pity on him and sucked on his fingers. The reaction was immediate, and Jim bit his lip bloody forcing himself not to come as Spock rode out his orgasm. Once Spock had marginally recovered and Jim wasn't set to blow at the slightest of movements, Spock entwined his hand with one of Jim's and settled the other onto his meld points.

Spock was still twitchy by the time Jim began rocking into him, and it set Jim on the edge anew. Spock did something in Jim's head, and suddenly his lust was somehow lessened without being lessened, so he was able to start a leisurely pace. Then all that was left was the rhythm, and the force their shared pleasure. Time dripped like honey, slow and inexorable. It was hard to focus on anything this way, but Jim wanted it- he wanted to see his Vulcan fall apart at the seams and so he changed the angle just a bit and leaned in for another kiss and-

They came down several minutes later, completely spent. Spock hadn't yet disengaged from the meld, leaving Jim slipping around in the woozy haze of both of their minds. There was no need for Jim to move, anyway; it was late at night, they were in Spock's bed, and Jim could feel that he wasn't crushing his first officer. He nuzzled into Spock's neck, feeling more content with the world than he'd ever been.

"I've never done that before, you know." Jim eventually murmured, lips pressed into Spock's shoulder.

"Had intercourse of this caliber?" Spock teased, and Jim snuffled into his neck. Jim knew Spock knew that he'd never before rimmed a partner; it was clear as day in his thoughts. "It is somewhat surprising, considering your previous inclinations."

And suddenly Jim felt cold. He rolled aside in an attempt to disengage, but Spock stopped him. "Forgive me Jim, I- am rather new at this." And Jim could feel it: under his logical façade and even his clearer, surface emotions, Jim could sense Spock's tentativeness and carefully guarded wonder.

"I… hold you in high esteem, Jim." Spock admitted, and coming from him the way it was, it was the nicest thing Jim had ever heard. Jim buried his head into Spock's chest, hiding his face.

"Me too."

They stayed in the meld until late at night.

)()()()(

McCoy caught up to Spock and Jim bright and early the next day, just in time to prevent them from their mid-morning sex.

"Can I talk to you two somewhere in private?"

Jim all but growled in obvious frustration, but pointed towards his ready room. McCoy shuddered, obviously recognizing what they got up to in _there_. Jim sighed. "Fine, how about conference room B?"

Once inside, McCoy swiftly rounded on them, all business. "Jim, Spock, have you two grown significantly closer during the past few months before this debacle?"

"Of course we have, Bones." Jim laughed. "Nearly dying-"

"And _actually _dying," McCoy interjected.

"-and actually dying in front of each other tends to do that to people."

"There was that encounter on T'blisi IX," Spock admitted.

"And what a shit storm _that_ was. It's one thing to die in the line of duty, and entirely another thing to be nearly offed by a telepathic sludge monster." Jim shuddered at the recollection.

McCoy pressed on. "What _about_ T'blisi IX?"

"As you know, I protected the captain from the Rhash'kvor's hallucinations by melding with him. The meld resulted in a bond."

McCoy's jaw dropped. "A bond_?_ A _bond_?! You two have a goddamned Vulcan _bond_ together, and didn't think I should _know_ about this?!"

"Chill, Bones, chill! Spock filled me in on the situation, it's no big deal. Apparently this kind of thing can happen between Vulcans who are like, besties, and are mentally compatible. It's not dangerous!"

Jim may as well have been talking to a wall; the doctor's mind was still stuck on one point. "You. Are. Bonded… To him?" Jim went to say something, but McCoy held up his hand. "No, Jim, just- No. You damn fool idiot!"

"The Captain is right, there is no danger-"

"It's made us a _better _command team, Bones, why are you-"

McCoy ignored both of them and hit the Comm, effectively shutting them both up. "McCoy to M'Benga."

"_M'Benga here."_

"It seems like our fearless leaders managed to miss a few important facts: apparently, Jim and Spock are _bonded_."

"It is a warrior bond, made between friends and brothers," Spock butted in amongst the sound of M'Benga's startled coughing.

McCoy smirked. "Oh, so Vulcans fool around with their brothers?"

Spock's icy stare looked colder than _space_, so Jim quickly stepped in. "We're working with the 'friends' angle; doesn't everyone eventually end up doing their close friends?"

For the briefest second, McCoy felt an intense need to _flee _because the look Spock was giving him was downright _murderous_. Jim grabbed Spock's arm and murmured a simple 'no'.

"Do I even want to know what just happened right there?" McCoy asked, stunned, but M'Benga cut him off.

"_When was this bond established?_"

"4.26 months ago, during the incident at T'blisi IX. It was unintentional, however we found it fulfilling and tactically advantageous."

"Plus I'd have to let some foreign Vulcan in my head if we wanted to get rid of it, and after that renegade purist faction, _never again_ would be too soon. But none of that matters because this _doesn't change anything_. Why would a bond we established several months prior suddenly make us want to go at it like rabbits?"

"_I think I may have an answer. The Vulcan healers have been very tight-lipped about it, however, so I'll have to ask you Spock: what can you tell me about Pon Farr?"_

While Spock outwardly seemed unruffled, inwardly Jim could feel him clam up. "I highly doubt it as the source. While certain elements of it seem to fit quite well, the vast majority of them do not."

"_Explain to me, what doesn't fit?_" M'Benga asked, and Spock testily looked over at McCoy.

"Forgive me, doctor. We do not speak of it, even amongst healers training at our facilities. This information is given on a need to know basis."

"Goddamned it pointy, we _need to know_!"

A burst of unwarranted anger rushed up in Jim. "Don't you _dare_ talk to him that way, Bones!"

"_Gentlemen!_" M'Benga's voice crackled over the comm. "_Forgive me, Commander, but I must insist that you explain it to me in confidence. While I understand your people's wish for privacy, I hope you understand that I cannot be an effective diagnostician without all the facts._"

"Understood, doctor. Does 1430 work for you?"

"_That would be fine_."

"So are we done here?" Jim impatiently added.

"Yeah, we're done." McCoy sighed, and turned the comm unit off. "Jim? You coming?" He asked.

Jim gave him a shit-eating smile. "Actually, I was thinking of catching up with the commander here for a moment,"

"I need mind bleach," McCoy miserably glowered, and left the room.

Jim relaxed in a chair, suddenly downright cheery. "Did you know these are the only rolling chairs on the ship, Commander? I've got two words for you: magnetized wheels."

)()()()(

Doctor M'Benga looked up from his work to see the Spock enter at precisely 1430. "Good to see you, Commander. Care to enlighten me on a few things?"

Spock's face was set in a stiff mask. "I will endeavor to explain to you what is necessary: Pon farr is a mating cycle that can prove lethal, should sexual activity with a compatible partner not occur."

"The healers hinted as much, and agreed with you that the specifics don't fit. But what are the specifics? If we know you're likely to undergo it some time in the future, I need to know."

"Pon Farr can onset during a Vulcan's early thirties, however it manifests most frequently in the late thirties to forties. Furthermore, the symptoms of Pon Farr are blinding rage, jealousy, libidinousness, and a complete loss of logical thought… The heat of Pon Farr has been described by many as 'mindless'. As I am not yet 29, and have displayed minimal changes in behavior and cognizance, Pon Farr is a highly unlikely suspect."

"I'm not certain I completely agree with you Commander, but I'll take your word for it. However your recent interactions with the Captain are more than a little unusual; it might be best that you cease sexual interactions with the Captain for the time being."

Slowly, carefully, Spock stood up to his full height, a good four inches taller than the doctor. "I will do no. Such. Thing. You will cease pestering the Captain and myself with your flawed theories and invasive personal questions immediately, or suffer the consequences."

M'Bengas eyes went round as saucers. Cautiously, he took a few slow steps away from the clearly livid Vulcan. "Forgive me, Commander."

In a heartbeat, the rage slid away and Spock was back to his normal placid self. "Asking for forgiveness is illogical. If you would excuse me, I am needed on the bridge."

"Of course." M'Benga let out a shaky breath once the door swooshed shut, then stumbled over to the Comm. Unit.

"_Uhura here_,"

"Uhura, it's M'Benga. Patch me through to the VSA immediately, and get Dr. McCoy on as well. We've got a problem on our hands."

)()()()(

When they fell into bed together that night, Jim was apologetic. "I'm really sorry about Bones, he was being a jerk today."

"It is of no consequence." Spock returned, capturing Jim's mouth in a kiss.

"So what is this whole 'Pon Farr' thing anyway?" Spock was taking a moment to formulate a careful reply, when Jim used his powers of intuitive deduction to come uncannily close to the truth. "Does it have to do with sex? I bet it has to do with sex. You're probably all sex crazed monsters under your logical facades."

"Just because 89.3% of your thoughts revolve around sexual intercourse does not mean that you can give an accurate assessment of Vulcan behavior, Jim."

"But I _am_ right," Jim retorted with a shit eating grin. "So right. But hey, this works out. If you do go into some sort of cave man sex craze during this fiver, you can count on me to be your booty call. Take one for the team and all." Jim laughed.

"It is not that simple, Jim. When I go into Pon Farr, I will turn onto a mindless beast. I may very well hurt you, and I… could not live with myself, if that happened. Furthermore, our joining would result in a marriage bond and I don't want that."

Jim looked like he'd been physically struck. "So what, all I'm good for is a quick fuck?"

"No, Jim! I would not force you to bind yourself to me."

"You didn't even _ask_ if that's what I want!"

"I have seen your mind, Jim." Spock carefully replied. And it was true: only a few days ago, Jim would have run for the hills over terms like 'commitment' or 'relationship', let alone marriage, but… this thing, whatever they had, was pretty amazing. Jim had never experienced something so raw and meaningful, and they fit each other in ways that he couldn't explain or even fully understand.

"Well if you gave me a some time, maybe I could get used to the idea," Jim mulishly bit out. Instead of being upset like Jim had been half expecting, Spock's mind lit up like a Christmas tree. Jim had never been more certain that he'd said the right thing.

"That would be highly satisfactory," Spock breathed out, before jumping Jim like they hadn't just gone for a round of marathon sex.

)()()()(

"Captain, the crew of the _T'Salek_ are asking permission to board." Uhura tentatively relayed.

"Huh? What are they doing all the way out here?"

"They didn't say," Uhura timidly replied, and let out a breath when she realized Jim wasn't going to bite her head off. Both the Captain and Commander had become somewhat calmer, a fact the whole bridge crew was ecstatic over.

"Okay then, beam them up."

McCoy, who had been hovering on the deck all day like a mother hen, moved towards Spock. "Commander, could you please come to the medbay with me?"

Spock looked mildly puzzled, and thankfully not any variant of angry or murderous. "If it is necessary."

"Yes, _yes_, definitely necessary," McCoy babbled, hastily walking towards the turbolifts. "This should only take a few minutes."

Jim and Spock shared a now customary meaningful glance before going their separate ways, Jim discussing something with Sulu while Spock entered the turbolift. "What is the meaning of this, Doctor?"

"Nothing much, just thought it'd be a good idea if you met with one of the Vulcans on board." McCoy nervously rattled out.

"Doctor M'Benga and yourself still believe that I am compromised," Spock grated.

"We're just a little concerned," McCoy hedged, before leading Spock to the medbay. A Vulcan healer was already waiting there with M'Benga by the time they arrived, and Spock carefully banked his frustration.

"Spock, it's good to see you. This is T'Laren. T'Laren, Spock." M'Benga introduced.

"I assume you are here to see my mind?" Spock enquired, face blank. The Vulcan elder nodded, and he stiffly bent his head for easier access.

"Be calm, Spock," T'Laren said, and entered his mind.

)()()()(

McCoy returned to the bridge ten minutes later, looking like someone had just force-fed him a lemon. "Jim, a word?" He asked. Jim gave him a questioning glance, then handed command over to Sulu and quickly followed McCoy into a conference room.

"What's up?"

"You sure know how to pick 'em." McCoy made a wheezy, slightly hysterical laugh. "Congratulations, Jim, you're married."

Jim looked like he'd been hit over the head with a two by four. "_What_? Wait, WHAT? Do you mean that- _Spock_? And _me_?"

"Apparently, Spock's been going through Pon Farr; a milder one than most Vulcans due to his unique genetics, as well as because he found a partner before symptoms even fully set in."

"But it doesn't make sense, Bones. Humans don't go through Pon Farr."

"You were similarly affected because you two already shared a bond, which created- I don't know, a sympathetic response in you? She said the only reason it happened was because you two are _T'hy'la_, whatever that is, which is apparently pretty rare."

Jim ran a hand through his hair and began pacing. "Holy shit. Is Spock alright, is- is this alright with him? What are we going to do?"

"That's what Spock wanted to know." Bones carefully stated. "There's a Vulcan healer aboard right now, and Spock's offering you the chance to sever the bond."

"That stupid, selfless bastard!" Jim vehemently cursed. "Where is he?!"

"Jim, calm down-"

"Where _is he_?!"

"Medbay, Jim, but what are-" McCoy helplessly followed after Jim, who stormed his way towards the medbay. M'Benga, Spock, and T'Laren were all there, standing in a quiet circle. Spock looked like he was going to say something, but Jim cut him off.

"Not _a word_, Spock. I can't even believe you sometimes!"

"Jim," Spock began, and his voice nearly _trembled_. "I would not hold it against you, if you do not-"

"-Want you? Want this? My god, we've been practically _living_ in each other's heads the past few days, how can you not-"

"I didn't want to assume-"

" Of _course_ you didn't want to assume, you think I'm some sort of-"

"_Never_, Jim, I never-"

"-think that I could want it _too_?!"

Spock and Jim both fell silent, while everyone else in the room tried to puzzle out whatever the hell their half-conversation even _meant_. T'Laren was the only one who seemed to get it, and sedately made her way out of medbay.

"Wait, where are you going?" McCoy asked the healer, but T'Laren didn't even turn back.

"She is taking her leave because we are not in need of her services," Spock replied with a focused sort of heat, his eyes fixed on Jim.

"_Damn right_ we won't be needing her services," Jim fiercely replied, and suddenly McCoy realized that he'd be seeing some full on-frontal if he didn't run interference, stat.

"Oh no you don't, not in my medbay again!" McCoy griped at Spock and Jim, trying to corral them into the hall, while M'Benga politely hid a grin and turned to hole himself into his office.

The looks the two were giving each other were downright _pornographic_. "Bones, we're taking the next few days off."

"I think I got that," He wryly replied. "Happy honeymoon. Just make it to your rooms this time, would you?"

)()()()(

News of Spock and Jim's sudden nuptials were kept relatively quiet, however that didn't stop the entire bridge crew from learning the juicy details. It was actually reassuring to know that their commanding officers hadn't gone off the deep end, but had instead gone through a bout of temporary sex-induced insanity.

Chekov was just glad that this whole mess came with a silver lining: now that the Captain and Commander were over their hormone-induced rage, they were downright cheerful. Spock had even _complimented_ Pavel on his 'exemplary work', which both mind-boggling and completely amazing. Jim walked around with the air of someone who was perpetually well fucked, smiling at nothing and everything and being exceedingly enthusiastic about his work.

"At least they're keeping it in their pants during shift." Chekov joked with Sulu, watching as their commanding officers finished their meals in record time and made a beeline for the ready room. "It's actually kind of cute; I wish I was in love like that."

Sulu just stared at Chekov. "Okay, no, that's it."

Chekov frowned. "What?"

"If those two idiots can figure it out, so can I." Hikaru took a deep breath. "Pavel, will you go out on a date with me?"

Chekov openly laughed. "Getting hot around the collar from all the action, Sulu?"

"Oh my god, would you please just answer the question before I die."

"Yes, I think I'd like that."

)()()()(


End file.
